Page 27: Bumper Stickers

Page 27: Bumper Stickers

TOP BUMPER STICKER'S SEEN AROUND THE WORLD




1. Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

11. If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home

19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

26. Illiterate? Write For Help

27. Honk If Anything Falls Off

28. Cover Me-I'm Changing Lanes

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off Again... [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]

37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service;
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen In A Restaurant]

42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

44. Ax Me About Ebonics

45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

46. Boldly Going Nowhere

47. Cat: The Other White Meat

48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got it!

56. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition

57. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull

58. PETA. - People Eating Tasty Animals

NEW

59. Thank God Ford doesn't make airplanes. - seen on a Ford Escort, in Seattle, home of Boeing

60. Work For World Peace - Or We'll Bomb You

61. Ex-lovers makes good speed bumps

62. You're a pane in my glass.

63. Motor Home Bumper Sticker: Don't Tailgate Or I'll Flush!

64. Stable Relationships Are For Horses.

65. If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

66. "Filthy Stinking Rich -- Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"

67. "Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair"

68. "I Speak Fluent Patriarchy But It's Not My Mother Tongue"

69. "I Used Up All My Sick Days So I Called In Dead"

70. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam"

71. Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the Same"

72. "If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees"

73. "Rehab Is for Quitters"

74. "My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse -- He Couldn't Do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse"

75. "Sleep with a Photographer and Watch Things Develop"

76. "I Don't Suffer from Insanity -- I'm a Carrier"

77. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since I Was 15"

78. I got this Pick-up Truck for my Wife; Good Trade, Eh

79. THIS WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF IT WEREN'T HAPPENING TO ME

80. THE FACE IS FAMILIAR BUT I CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER MY NAME

81. ILLITERATE? WRITE FOR HELP

82. HONK IF ANYTHING FALLS OFF

83. I HAVEN'T LOST MY MIND IT'S BACKED UP ON DISK SOMEWHERE

84. Dyslexics have more fnu.

85. Clones are people two.

86. COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage.

87. Editing is a rewording activity.

88. I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

89. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

90. Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.

91. No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

92. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.

93. There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

94. I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling, like the passengers in his car....

95. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

96. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

97. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

98. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

99. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

100. Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

101. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

102. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

103. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

104. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

105. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

106. My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...or something like that.

107. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.



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