A Highland Scot was at the corner pub, downing Glenfiddich as if 'twere water. Weel, now, the good lad slumped into a graceful heap "blissfully unconscious" at the bar, just as two lassies went to leave their table. Feeling the bit devilish, one lass (reid-heided, nay doubt...) thought she'd teach a lesson, and removed a ribbon from her own tresses and reached beneath his kilt and tied it to his...um...his Mmmmphm. Giggling, the lassies left.
Weel, the Scot woke some hours later and, being a male having consumed much alcohol, he went outside to relieve himself. Rucking up his kilt, he was taken aback to find a bonny blue ribbon tied around his Mmmmmmphm. Taking a breath, he says, "Weel, laddie, I dinna ken what ye did, but 'tis proud I am ye took first place!"
